Hotels cool vs. comfort

Phoenix:

Sept. 17

Susie and I went up to Phoenix for a weekend getaway. Susie booked us a room at the Clarendon Hotel*, a cool, modern boutique that has a really cool pool area. Judging from the pictures on the website, it looked like place we would love. Photos lie. Better yet, they don't tell you everything. They don't tell you that hotel has a local reputation for partying. They don't tell you that there is a lack of security.

After checking in, we dropped off our luggage in our room which reminded me of the concrete walled dorm rooms of Porter College at U.C. Santa Cruz, designed by the same archictect responsible for the design of San Quentin penetentary. Well, our room was a bit cheerier than those rooms. There was a blue highlight wall, a flat screen TV and sleek but slightly used modern furniture.

We headed down to the pool to say a quick hello to Susie's cousin Lisa, who is attending a bachelorette party and then to the hotel restaurant, Gallo Blanco. After a delicious meal there (Gallo Blanco is the only saving grace for the Clarendon), Susie and I joined Lisa at the pool.

We had only been talking to Lisa for a few minutes when a drunk guy appeared at the pool and he immediately started talking to us three. Clinton was not just tipsy, he was obnoxiously drunk, yelling up to an older man a few floors above us, "Hey, Dad. How long was I married?" or "Hey Dad, I'm twenty six, right?". His "Dad" ignored him. Maybe Clinton should have yelled "Hey Dad! Am I a totally annoying drunk?" Clinton or Clit to his friends (I'm not making that up) decided to strip to his underwear, jump in the pool and talk to the other female guests at the party. Lisa, Susie and I continued our conversation while he proceeded to piss off the ladies, two of whom had grabbed his clothes and tossed them over the pool area fence.

Everything was find until Clit got out of the pool dripping wet and noticed his clothes were gone. This is when the shit hit the fan. In a manner of seconds, Clit turned from a goofy obnoxious drunk to a violent apeshit drunk threatening to punch us if we didn't tell him where his clothes were. I told him that some girls (I really can't them women for what they did) threw them over the fence. Clinton leaps over the fence and finds his clothes. Did this resolve the problem? Noooo. If Clinton had realized he was a drunk and that he was responsible for putting himself in the situation, then maybe things would have been ok. Instead, Clinton decides it's time to kick some ass and since I was the only guy at the pool it would be my ass that would get the kicking. Lucky me.

Lucky for me, Lisa stepped in and said "Hey, he's not responsible for your shit." That didn't matter. He just got angrier. I even started yelling "It wasn't me. I'm the one who told you where your shit was." That didn't help he just wanted to beat me up. While all this is happening a waiter is going back and forth from the poolside to the restaurant and not calling anybody for help.

Lisa quickly signals for me to get the hell out of there and grudgingly I head straight up to my room thinking this is the stupidest situation I have ever been in, sooo high school. I ended up spending the rest of the night sequestered in my room. Susie came back and told me that some of the other bachelorette guests decided to get in Clinton's face and start shit. Clinton pushed a couple of them and took off, only wearing his soaking wet underwear. The cops eventually show up, find him and give him a warning, that's right only a warning. The best part of the whole crazy situation is that some of the girls eventually confessed to Susie and Lisa that they did toss his clothes. The hotel has no security and did not throw him out. It also happens this type of shenanigans happens frequently. This place could not get worse.

Actually it did. As we went to sleep the air conditioning started making noises, people were walking around drunk in the hall making noise and the music from bottom floor was loud. Susie called the front desk and no one answered. That was the final straw. Susie, using the internet service via her cell phone, found a Hampton Inn in Chandler. After breakfast with Lisa and her newborn son Jackson, we checked out. Susie explained a bit about why we were checking out, the front desk clerk apologized but did nothing else.

The Hampton although a chain and close to the highway was heaven compared to the Clarendon Hotel Hell. The air conditioning worked. The bed was comfortable. The room was quiet. The staff was helpful. That's how every hotel should be, even if it's trying to be hip. Maybe I'm too old for these "too cool for school" hip hotels. It seems you have to be willing to put up with a lot of crap to stay in one. Yes, the room looks awesome but the AC doesn't work right. Yes, the bed is big but it's hard as a rock and some creepy drunk guy is making noises in the hall. Yes, the pool looks awesome but it's a magnet for drunken assholes and immature women who love pissing off drunken assholes.

Yeah. Thanks but no thanks.

*The Clarendon Hotel is also infamous as the location where investigative journalist Don Bolles was blown up in a car bomb on June 2, 1976. The murder resulted in a massive investigation into corruption and organized crime in Arizona.

Circle of Life

April 5

I woke up and headed straight to the kitchen to take my medicine. I looked out of the kitchen window and saw a hawk sitting on the dead grass of my back lawn and eating another bird. There were feathers everywhere surrounding the hungry bird.

Here's some video although it's a bit jumpy:

Books and Baseball

March 12-March 15

This weekend was my version of Spring Break. Back in January I found a schedule for baseball spring training and realized that both the Oakland A's and the San Francisco Giants would be in Tucson. I decided then and there that I needed to take a day off and see one of these games. I had been leaning towards seeing the Giants when, in late February, Debbie said she was coming to town on March 12th to see the A's game. The A's it would be. Meanwhile, Susie's longtime friend Danny and his son Elliot were coming the same weekend to see their beloved Mariners play AND the second annual Tucson Festival of Books would be happening the same weekend. Well that's too much to put into a three day weekend. So I decided to make it a four day weekend.
Friday came, Luis and ended up seeing the A's game without Debbie as she missed her flight. That might have been a good thing as the A's were getting beat horribly. After seven innings I left to pick up Debbie from the airport. Susie, Debbie and I had a great time although it was very brief.
On Saturday morning, after a quick visit to the Rincon Market for a coffee, we dropped Susie off at the university as she had to volunteer at the Arizona Public Media booth at the festival. Debbie and I had breakfast with Luis and Anne at the Good Egg. After breakfast, I said my goodbyes as Debbie was headed off to a Spring Training game in Phoenix with Luis before flying back to Oakland. That would definitely be a busy day for her indeed.

I went back to the festival and it took me twenty minutes to find a parking spot as everybody in Tucson was there. The festival is great because it had readings, lectures and workshops for every book related subject in addition hundreds of vendors and book signings. My first stop was a panel on chapbooks and why people should produce them. I was hoping to get exposure to chapbooks as they tend to be something that poets produce and a poet I am not. But one of the first things out of a speaker's mouth is that a chapbook does not have to be poetry. It can be a small publication of almost anything. It can also be produced in various ways from handwritten to more professionally laid out works.

After the workshop and a reading by contemporary Mexican writers, I met up with Susie and then wandered around, picking up a signed copy of Farmers & Mercenaries by Maxwell Alexander Drake and met the author. It seemed that every booth had an author signing books and meeting with fans. It was nearly overwhelming with all the people and books.

By three o'clock, Susie and I left to pick up our next guests for the week, Danny and his son Elliot who were in town for a couple of spring training games with their beloved Seattle Mariners and to visit us (of course!).

Sunday, the four of us headed out to Hi Corbet Field to watch the Mariners play the Colorado Rockies. While the game was exciting (especially near the end as the Mariners came close to winning), the best part was being able to get autographs from the players who aren't as accessible to fans during the regular season. However, at Spring Training, all you need to do is get there early while the teams are warming up and stay after the game is over and your chances are good to get a couple of signatures. Having an adorable child like Elliot around increases odds of getting autographs tenfold. The players are more receptive to the kids. Also many of the players are eager to sign memorabilia because they might be heading off to the minor leagues so Spring Training is their opportunity to be a big player. All in all it was good day. I ended up with 6-7 signatures and Susie got to keep a foul ball and got some signatures. The game was great and all four of us enjoyed each others company.

South America Highlights: Museum BBQ

March 15, 2009

Susie and I woke up around noon on Sunday. Despite the pisco sours, champagne and wine from last night we felt good. Later, there will be a post-wedding barbecue at 5 so we go to the highly recommended Chilean Museum of Pre-Colombian Art. It is a great museum. The permanent exhibit consists of artifacts from the various civilizations that existed before the Europeans arrived. The collection, displayed in geographic order, takes you from the Aztecs to the Olmecs, from the Mayans of Central America to the Inca civilization of Peru and then to the tribes of Patagonia. The temporary exhibit displayed artifacts of the people who lived along the coast of Chile and depended on the sea for their survival. The main point of the exhibit was to prove that although these people might be described as “primitive,” they were not simple. And they were not. Because there was no source of wood on the coast, they made inflatable rafts from seal skins. One of the tools used in their whale hunting was an inflatable bladder that, when tied to a harpoon, would prevent the whale from submerging into deep water and tire it out. Pretty smart. These people also mummified their dead. Their short wrinkly corpses made me think of Ms. Regna, my eighth grade Social Studies teacher although I’m sure they were not chain smokers like she was.

When we arrived at the home of Roby’s parents around six, the barbecue was well under way. Everybody was in good spirits and recovered from the long night of partying--the wedding didn’t end until five in the morning! The food was good and the conversations great. We all talked about what we’re doing next now that the wedding was over. Our friends Nieve and Michael were heading back to San Francisco in the morning. Richard and Roby were going to Easter Island for the honeymoon. Like us, Nicka will be heading off to Buenos Aires. Other folks planned to hang around Chile for a little bit. After the sun set, the Irish contingency started to sing pub songs including one called Willie McBride. It’s a somber song about a young man who died in World War I; I got a little choked up listening to the lyrics

Well how do you do, young Willie McBride,
Do you mind if I sit here down by your graveside.
And rest for a while ‘neath the warm summer sun.
I’ve been working all day and I’m nearly done.
I see by your gravestone you were only nineteen

After a great evening, Susie and I said our goodbyes, sad to leave such great people. We invited our friends, new and old, to visit us in Tucson. Susie and Roby hugged each other tearfully. At that moment, standing in this backyard in Santiago, I missed the Bay Area because I missed my friends.

We walked out with Claudio and Monica who gave us a ride to the subway station. We said goodbye to them, hopeful that we might see them again someday. While bidding farewell to everyone was a downer, I was eager to jump on the plane for our next destination: Buenos Aires!

South America Highlights: The Wedding

March 14, 2009


After our trip to Neruda’s house, we headed back to the hotel and get ready for the reason why we came, Richard and Roby’s wedding! Monica and her boyfriend, Claudio, picked us up and took us to the Basilica downtown. The wedding started at about 6:30 and mostly in Spanish so it seemed a little bit longer than it actually was. Roby made a beautiful bride and Richard, a sharp, dapper groom.

After the wedding, Claudio and Monica took us over to the Plaza de Armas, a main square in Santiago before we head off to the reception which is on the other side of the city where many Santiagans were enjoying their Saturday evening: children wearing cowboy hats getting their picture taken on top of ponies; couples sitting on benches, holding hands; evangelical preachers screeching the word of God through tinny portable PA systems; pickpockets in search of anyone not paying attention to their surroundings.

After the visit to the plaza, we were off to the banquet hall on the outskirts of Santiago. The reception started off very mellow with appetizers and drinks. Wait staff brought carried trays with flutes of champagne and glasses of pisco sour while Susie and I mingled among friends in the courtyard. After the drinks, we sat down in the hall for dinner and speeches. All of the speeches were translated by Monica. Richard read his speech in English and Spanish. He got very emotional and I choked up a little as he expressed his love for Roby and his gratitude towards his family and guests. This was the most international wedding I’ve ever attended. Besides Richard’s friends and family flying in from Ireland, Australia, the U.S., Norway and Brazil, some of Roby’s family came from Montreal and Miami.

After dinner, chilean folk dancers entertained the guests with the male dancers, dressed as gauchos, spinning their partners around. After the dancers, all of the guests went back out into the courtyard to light paper lanterns that floated up into the night sky. I was mesmerized as the lanterns climbed their way to join the stars. A couple lanterns didn’t make it and everybody held their breath as one looked like it will land, with flame, on top of the banquet hall but nothing disastrous happened.



After that, we went back inside for the garter/bouquet toss which included chilean custom of the bride giving the groom a lap dance. Once the lap dance and bouquet toss was over, it was dance time! And dance we did, including several looong conga lines around the banquet hall, until three o’clock in the morning when Monica and Claudio, took us back to the hotel. They both had to work the next day while everybody else would be sleeping in as late as possible.

South America Highlights: La Chascona

March 14, 2009

Since the wedding wasn’t until the evening so Susie and I had time to visit Neruda’s home, La Chascona. La Chascona was built and named for his third wife, Matilde Urrutia, who was his mistress when he was married to his second wife, Delia del Carril. Waiting for the guided tour, we browsed through the gift shop and then sat in the cafe, drank cafe cortados and read our Chile guidebook. As I was reading, a man approached us and told me that I resembled a young Neruda as I’m wore a cap similar to the ones Neruda wore. I was flattered. If only I had his brains and looks...

Neruda’s home is beautiful. It’s really really three buildings. One served as his formal dining room and kitchen. His dining building was very much inspired by a sailboat and it’s very small and has a low ceiling. The tour guide tells us that Neruda considered himself a “land sailor” because he loved the sea but didn’t actually love being on the sea. For a moment, I felt just as claustrophobic as if I’m was in a sailboat. The second builing was his personal quarters which has a living room with a great view of the Andes. The guide told us it the view was even better when he was alive since the smog wasn’t as bad as it is now. The third contained his study and his summer bar that had huge glass windows. It was beautiful. The third building was the best. Books and beverages are a great combo. The man knew how to live. Throughout his home are an assortment of antiques he picked up on his travels; Russian nesting dolls, English china, fine crystal. Visiting his home, I felt inspired. After our guided tour, we went back to the gift shop where I picked a copy of The Essential Neruda and a t-shirt with a Neruda quote: “Confieso que he vivido” (I confess that I have lived). It’s a phrase that reminds me I need to get out of my shell and experience new things (like going to South America).

Mural outside La Chascona

Hanging with Pablo

South America Highlights: Valparaiso

March 13, 2009



We woke up early and took the subway to the Escuela Militar stop where we met up with Richard and his minivan for our day long excursion to Valparaiso. Most of the group from last night were there. In the van, we met Arve, who flew from Norway to attend the wedding. The van is packed with about 15 people plus Robby drove a car with Richard’s parents and their friends. It feels as though we were multinational task force invading Valparaiso.

After a two hour ride filled with lively conversation and laughter, we arrived. Susie and I left our jackets behind, thinking Valparaiso would be just as hot as Santiago. Wrong! The temperature was in the low 60s. Fortunately, Tony and Richard planned ahead and brought extra coats. Valparaiso reminded me of San Francisco as it is a very hilly city (more than San Francisco) and the weather is cool and overcast. After a quick coffee and bathroom break, we found our tour guide, his assistant, and two more friends of Richard and Robby who came for the wedding but were spending some time in Valparaiso. The guide first took us on a tour of the harbor where we see fishermen pulling in their fresh catch, sea lions waiting for the fishermen to drop their catch, and various ships from fishing boats to the Chilean Navy’s training schooner.

After the harbor tour, we walked through the fish market. Sea bass, mussels, sardines and other seafood are being sold. Most of it smelled fresh...some of it not so fresh. Susie took a picture of a fishmonger who tells us his name is Pancho. He was as cute as a button as he chopped off fish heads with his cleaver. We continued our tour going up and down Valparaiso’s steep hills in Ascenors, cable cars, and then jumping on a bus that took us through the heart of the city. It is a bustling city with it’s own character. The buildings are mostly colonial. The busses look as if they’re from the 50’s (Richard told us coming into the city that Santiago sends it’s older busses to Valparaiso. I was in a time warp. We managed to see a good part of Valparaiso before out late lunch but we don’t see one of its famous attractions, Pablo Neruda’s second house. For lunch we headed up another hill and walked through pathways until we got to a restaurant that should be called La Casa Amarilla (I forgot the the actual name) as it is a massive house painted a bright marigold yellow. The restaurant had great views of Valparaiso and it’s harbor. The food was excellent. I had a seafood risotto that was creamy delicious . Someone else ordered a beef dish that looked tender and juicy. Joining us at our table were Arve and Mark; we had a great time talking and laughing. We laughed so much my stomach ached as if I had done a hundred sit ups.



Pancho Somebody's lunch


After our late lunch we headed back to Santiago. We seemed to take a different road out of Valparaiso and go up a higher hill and into a rougher neighborhood. Someone told us the rougher neighborhoods are in the top part of the hills, further from downtown Valparaiso but they have the better views. As our van drove up the road, some people looked at us with a what the hell are they doing here look on there face. One kid spit at the van as it went by.



The ride back was quiet as everybody was exhausted from the long day.